March 2012
1 post
Live Long and Prosper
I quit smoking today. I quit 18 years ago when I was 18 years old. I started back up about 3 years ago and have been off and on and almost always just when I drink…which has become more frequent lately.
I saw a Pink Martini video with this sad older man whose wife had passed away. He was lonely and it made me cry. I thought, how terrible it would be to leave Corey without me if I had...
February 2011
1 post
There's an App for this?
Yay! I can blog on the move now! Got myself a Tumblr App for Android. Woot!
May 2010
3 posts
New home. OBTAINED!
We completed our application process and signed the lease last night!!!!!
Corey and I will be moving into 1201 Tinnin Ford Rd. #13 on June 1st!
I can’t believe it’s actually happening, after all our day dreaming…we’re shacking up! No vows or babies…just a sweet ass condo. Finally, we can both live in the same house as our tempur-pedic!
We’ve lived with...
#13
Corey and I have fallen in love with a condo for rent on Town Lake er…Lady Bird Lake (WTF, it’s a RIVER anyway!)
It’s just the right size and it’s on the dang trails! It’s an old 60’s apartment building but it’s been remodeled and is super cool now. The back doors of all 72 units open up to the pool/courtyard area. It’s pretty flippin’...
Flip-Flop Side
I’ve decided…again…not to go to Flipside this year. I’ve changed my mind several times, but I think not spending the money right now is where it’s at.
Corey and I have decided we’re moving in together. We want it sooner than later and our collective financial situation leaves something to be desired right now. SO, just the $170 on tickets is stretching...
April 2010
1 post
Guess who's back!?
I’ve not posted in a long long time. I’m picking this back up…spurred by Brettany’s latest blog creation. Lot’s of new stuff going on with me…I have realized my power and ability. There’s no stopping me now, so long as I keep remembering these things.
I got a great job as a Special Fraud Investigator for this big beautiful state. I am using said power...
July 2009
1 post
EMPLOYED, I am.
I’m at work and truely can only be online during my allotted 15 minutes twice per day breaks. So, short and sweet…I’m employed again. I started Monday. I love it so far. I am back at what used to be called CCMS when I last worked here over 4 years ago. Now called Child Care Services, they are a subcontractor of the State of Texas and assist low income families with child...
June 2009
14 posts
Mah Figs.
Ok, so last year, no figs. So So SAD.
Uh…lookie here!
Look at ‘em all! They’re hard little nubbins now, but they’ll be full blown nut sacks by August. Yes, FULL BLOWN NUT SACKS.
From the inside of gargantuan fig tree:
Here’s some perspective…tree is BIG.
That’s a 6 foot fence back there and a nerdy trampoline dog up front.
Can’t...
Look at THIS nerd!
Oh jeez, I love her.
I has comments!
Thanks to Nicole…AGAIN! You can now comment on my blog! Sheesh!
She’s always got my back…
No BITING!
So, I am a chronic nail-biter. It’s gross, I hate it, and haven’t ever been able to quit it. I got some fake nails for Louisa’s wedding (hilarious ghetto nails color coordinated with my bridesmaid outfit). Here they are, featuring: sandwich.
The nail lady said they’d last a week. So, a week passes and the damn things aren’t budging. AND my nails are growing...
And then there is this...there's always this.
“I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in...”
– Mitch Hedberg
update on the big news
No update, really. I wrote Phillip the next day and he thanked me for checking on him, but just needed some time to think about his feelings. He’s not contacted me since and I’m giving him that time.
I’m trying not to wonder and guess what he’s thinking (that also never worked before). It’s not too terribly hard. I don’t really think about him...
update on chauvinism and racism
So, after posting on Yelp! about Belvederes Men’s Day Spa, one of the owners sent me a comment on there to apologize that this was happening and to ensure me that it would be taken care of at once.
I went to their website, just wondering if this guy was THE guy pulling one over on me and no, it seemed genuine. THE guy is the shoe shine guy and I’ve not seen him out in front of the...
the big news
Well, I finally told Phillip today that I’m “dating someone.” We talk somewhat regularly and I felt really weird not telling him about the biggest, most wonderful news of the friggin’ century. Of course I didn’t say it that way. LOL
I emailed him partially because it’s really hard to get him on the phone (connectivity in Bisbee, AZ, time zone differences and...
uh, that's weird.
I saw this girl taking a nap on the sidewalk. I thought she wrecked her bike, but no, she was just sleepy.
chauvinism and racism
My post on yelp.com today:
Belvederes Men’s Day Spa
I am obviously a woman and therefore have not patronized this establishment. I’m giving it one star because the guy who’s there all the time is a disgusting asshole.
I work down the street from this place and am often forced to walk past it to get food. Dude sits outside all day and makes suggestive sounds and comments to...
“You have to choose someone each day that you can’t please.”
– Someone awesome
Wobble-knees
So yeah, this gives me noodle legs…
And it’s also fun to torture you guys with mush.
Buzzing and floating along...
Wow. I feel so GOOD! I’m pretty sure you all know of my recent, uh, hookup. Well, every moment since has been suprisingly electric. Not sure what it all means and am just letting it happen. I’m a beaming fucking ray of life right now… Prior to hookup, I was definately feeling free of things that bound me in my relationship. Preparing for and going to Flipside so soon after...
May 2009
5 posts
I haven’t day dreamt of the prospect of traveling and learning and feeling and doing with and for someone in a really long time. That prospect fizzled some time ago when all those dreams never happened…but I’m not afraid to try again.
Get up out of bed!
These girls are so cute and this song is so appropriate. I really don’t think Phillip is an asshole, so that doesn’t apply, but the song really does fit my plight otherwise:
http://www.garfunkelandoates.com/music/clips/6/silver-lining/
Effective Interception
There are 7 days left before Flipside. I am in no way prepared at this moment and my schedule is packed between now and then. However, I’m not completely overwhelmed anymore. I think by putting my hand up and saying “whoa” to more responsibilities and obligations I effectively intercepted an anxious meltdown.
SUCCESS!
I am looking at my cubicle but all I see is the playa. ...
Overwhelmed and dealing healthily
Not much time for this one, as I am overwhelmed. Just some thoughts:
I’ve got a lot on my plate. It’s hard to “complain” because it’s all great stuff, but what’s overwhelming about it is I don’t want to let anyone down or overdo it and end up collapsing emotionally.
I’m learning to talk to people and tell them when I’m overwhelmed instead...
COLETTE!
April 2009
21 posts
Not so bad...not so bad
Well, the weekend went pretty well (as far as Phillip is concerned). The rest of the weekend went really well. It was nice to spend a little time with him…we really didn’t hang out much, which was good (and planned). There were a couple of moments where we had to kind of reroute our natural, er trained reactions to each other. But, we managed it. I was kinda flipping out the day...
EVERYTHING I EAT
Started a new blog…called Everything I Eat. See it here:
http://everythingieat.tumblr.com/
Dunt-Dunna-NAAA!
That title doesn’t really translate well. It looks like I’m stuttering…hm…
Think trumpets in battle…Dunt-Dunna-NAAA! CHARGE! Go ahead, shout it out.
Throw a fist up, that helps.
(a blue, muscley fist is most helpful)
Feeling ambitious today. Feeling in..uh…CHARGE! My previous anxieties are gone. I just needed to get them out in writing. I’ve...
Morning happened
Anxiety then relief
Sadness and pity
Forcing my head off the pillow
Remembering how it hurts if I don’t
Tinge of embarrasment
Wondering if I’m misunderstood
I’m not sorry for nothing
And not responsible for everything
Then…the cool wind
The burning thighs
The mission. Will I ever make it?
Pure dignity, positive red face
Past wounds surfacing, resurfacing
Poison Ivy?
Forcing...
Anxiety Arrival
Man, I didn’t ever used to experience anxiety (or maybe I just didn’t recognize it). I’ve developed it in the last few years…don’t like it. Nope.
Phillip arrived in Austin today. I haven’t seen him since March 1st. I was expecting no anxiety, since I do want to be broken up with him. However, I realize that it’s a lot easier to feel that way when I...
Wonderful feeling short-lived
Well, mood swings are in uh, full swing. I feel like shit today. I felt like shit yesterday. Lonely and depressed…desperate. I’ve got to get back on the making me better track. I wasn’t drinking for a while. I drank this weekend and I’m sure that has a lot to do with how down I am now. I’ve lost weight though. That’s good. I’ve been going to the...
Oh beautiful life!
I’m feeling recharged and full of life and love! Body and soul, I feel fantastic!
Sometimes it feels like this:
strange thought i knew you well thought i had read the sky thought i had read a change in your eyes to strange woke up to a world that i am not a part except when i can play it’s stranger after all what were you really looking for and i wonder when will i learn blue isn’t red everybody knows this and i wonder when will i learn when will i learn guess i was in deeper than i thought i...
The Music
I have realized that in my numbing, I also stopped really enjoying music. The effort to find something to listen to was even too much. These days I am reflooding my senses, constantly listening to music and really truely loving every note.
Night One
So last night was just a paperwork/meet n’ greet thing for the families and facilitators for the Hospice thing I’m doing. I’m glad we didn’t jump straight into groups. I am really very timid around new people…I know, you wonder how this could be true. It’s really only true when I have to censor myself. You know I’m a no-filter having freak. I have...
So it begins...
Tonight starts my seven weeks of co-facilitating support groups for Hospice. This particular “event” is for families who are bereaving a loved one. For seven weeks, families (with children) who have lost someone close to them come to this thing at a…wait for it…wait for it….church. Yes, I’m going into a church. Eeep!
There are like 10-15 families or...
Unions
There are two huge unions that are happening to two hugely important entities in my life.
Louisa and Cary are getting married.
Nicole and Colby are having a child.
I am so overwhelmed with love and excitement for both of these beautiful unions. I am honored to be a part of their lives and ceremonies (a tail gate party at the birthing center is indeed a ceremony). My heart feels like it...
Now with 100% more COMMENTS!
Thanks to Nicole (who really has nothing better to do) you can now make comments on this here blog.
Thank you, Nicole!!!! You are my friend.
“It was hard to tell just how I felt
To not recognize myself
I started to fade...”
– Feist (Let It Die)
Fixing a Hole
So, this weekend we had a concrete slab poured in our backyard because we’ll be building our new shed on top of it next weekend! Goodbye garage clutter!
Before the concrete stud muffins (friends, Jason and Johnny) went to work, I stuck the ipod in my back pocket and the ear buds where they belong and put Beatles, “Fixing A Hole” on Repeat. Then I commenced to digging a hole...
“We were talking-about the space between us all
And the people-who hide...”
– Beatles (In India!)
That is SERIOUSLY effed up!
I had a dream a couple of nights ago that struck me as strange the next day…but now I’m thinking about it and I’m thinking, “that was seriously effed up!”
I was so distraught in the dream about who-knows-what that I decided death would be a better alternative. WHAT? So, instead of killing myself, I had someone else shoot me in the chest with a shot gun. WHAT? But...
Case of the Weirds!
I’m feeling weird. I realized I’m always looking for something to be excited about. The next thing…at least one really fun, awesome, great thing each day. I’m not used to just having “a day”.
I’m constantly online waiting for an exciting, fun message. Or texting…just depending on other people to make me happy. I’m always looking forward...
March 2009
9 posts
“These shabby shoes I’m wearin’ all the time is full of holes and...”
– Hank Williams Sr.
My birthday dinner...shit!
I was hoping it wouldn’t come to this, but here goes:
Last week, I was urged by several friends to have a birthday dinner they could attend (after SXSW was over)…so I made a short list of people to invite. It’s not a huge deal. However, I’m afraid some feelers were hurt because they weren’t invited. CRAP! I’m sorry…
I went to a friend’s...
Hey friends, YOU'RE AWESOME!
I had an amazing birthday, by the way. So many of you surrounded me and made me feel special. Honestly, I know I was glowing.
I had a chorus of dancing (drunk) unicorns, a VISTA lesson, a beautiful new hair-do and a bat barrett to boot, breakfast delivered, mimosas ready and waiting, a chauffeur, a thousand “It’s Brandi’s Birthday!!!!”s, free beer and goat visiting...